Press On Toward Your Upward Calling

This past week I learned that my friend (and former client) Stephanie just landed her dream job working at the Los Alamos National Laboratory (LANL) in New Mexico. Like the Oak Ridge National Laboratory in our own backyard, LANL’s primary mission is to provide scientific and engineering support to national security programs. Since her college graduation last year I’ve watched Stephanie struggle with the disappointment of second and third round interviews, often being a job finalist, and yet not attain the jobs to which she had applied. It was her application of two important principals that helped her finally land the job.
 
Perhaps the most important action that Stephanie used was refusing to listen to well-intended people who confused consoling her with diminishing her dream. Seeking to ease her pain, these people would promote lesser goals with the admonition that perhaps she should “settle for less”. Rather than encourage and provide her with alternative ways she might use to attain her goals, they suggested she lower her expectations and dismiss her hopes as unrealistic.
 
Life can throw discouraging challenges at any of us, but they seem to come in endless supply for those who want to do something exceptional. I recently heard Brooklyn Sawyers Belk, the Knoxville Police Department’s new Assistant Chief for Professional Standards say, “you can’t share your big dreams with small-minded people”. Her statement reminded me that our biggest challenges sometimes come from “friendly fire” – from well-meaning family or friends who lack the ability to perceive what “might be” or the courage to go after these things themselves, and then encourage us to lower our hopes, expectations or goals.
 
As someone who has repeatedly overcome substantial life challenges to attain her life’s goals (being a woman of color, single parent, and earning a law degree) Mrs. Belk knows from experience that you must work and fight hard to have an exceptional life. In my work I find that the people who know how to work hard and be doggedly persistent are the most likely to attain their dreams, and those who give in to the voices telling them to “settle” rarely turn dreams into realities. In fact, had I listened to voices in my own life that encouraged me to settle for less I wouldn’t have married my wife or even be writing this for you. Teaching yourself to become deaf to or ignore people who don’t share your aspirations is often essential to attaining them.
 
Despite the setbacks she encountered, Stephanie also maintained a “short memory”; something I find is common in my clients who attain their goals. As a lover of football, the term “snap-and-clear” has real meaning for me. In football it means to forget what happened on the previous play and focus on what needs doing to make the current play succeed. My son had a marvelous ability to apply this by ignoring his own mistakes in his piano recitals and simply playing on. Having a snap-and-clear mindset regarding your life means your efforts and actions today aren’t inhibited or impeded by yesterday’s obstacles or failures. Each day is a brand-new opportunity to act toward making a hope or dream a reality.
 
Developing a snap-and-clear mindset is more difficult than it used to be. These days, identifying yourself as someone who has been “victimized” by a person or institution is a way some people define themselves in our society. Discarding memories of failure or being wronged by others forces people to replace these identity markers with positive attributes, something that (unfortunately) is very difficult for some. I empathize with people to whom bad things have happened but it’s hard to move forward toward new goals when you’re preoccupied with what occurred in the past. If you want to attain the life you might have, you often must ignore or forget the past and “press on toward your upward calling”.
 
I personally feel blessed and encouraged by friends like Stephanie who “press on”, or Will, who attained a dream architectural job in California, or Joe who works as admissions advisor in a law school, or Cara who is a dietician, wife and mother. Each of them is a real person with real life challenges, but they overcame their challenges to take hold of their dream. These people remind me to keep pressing on toward the things that really matter in life – to be people who make lasting and significant impacts with our lives.

Reach me here or at (865) 755-4543 if you would like to talk about how you can reach the goals you set for your work-life.